“FLY TYING & OTHER NOTEWORTHY MISNOMERS”

Submitted story to the FlyAnglersOnLine (FAOL)

Have you ever really read a fly recipe and gave it more then a mini second thought? 

Consider the ingredient listed for the “TAIL” material in a particular dry fly list.

GRIZZLY HACKLE.

Somehow it conjures up a sequence of someone trying to sneak up on an Alaskan grizzly and plucking a few hairs from the back of its neck. Maybe the title to the book revealing the technique of how to do it might be, “Dances With Grizzlies.” Or, “It Was the Last Thing Bubba Ever Did.” Or maybe “Watch This.”

How about that great “BODY” material we see so often.

OLIVE DUBBING.

She could be the heroine in the latest Disney cartoon. Olive Oyl’s sister maybe.

Always liked the term used in some material lists referred to for forming the “RIB.”

PALMERED.

Nothing like recalling the sight of ole Arnie Palmer nailing another 18^th hole birdie putt at Augusta National for his umpteenth career win. Could also be what happened when you tried to snatch that bug flying about your head to identify it for a match the hatch imitation. Yuck-just palmered that one.

You must include instructions for a “WING” in the overall process.

UPRIGHT and DIVIDED.

Kind of reminds one of a surgical procedure in a TV medical drama. “When venting the spleen and connecting it to the colon the pancreas must always remain upright and divided. Otherwise the patient will never be able to properly execute a double haul maneuver.”

The term “HEAD” could bring on all kind of connotations which could prove to be down right dangerous.

GRIZZLY AND BROWN, MIXED.

Now folks, we’ve already covered the subject of grizzly and now you want to mix one with a brown? Criminey - the last person that tried that trick ended up as just a few bells and pepper spray in a pile of scat.

What could be the problem with a term as common as “THREAD.”

CHARTREUSE, 1/0, WAXED, MONOFILAMENT, DOUBLE-HELIX.

There is no way this ingredient could be other then the DYS-93 loci for your grandfather’s DNA on your mother’s, father’s nephew’s side. Or, the hero in the latest sci-fi movie.

And, last but not least, the ever present “HOOK.”

#87309756341, SIZE 1 TO 72, SPROAT, 8X.

Purt ner all of you think that the above listing refers to the thing used to attach your fly to a trout. However, being a true NFL aficionado you would instantly recognize it as the winning play as the Pittsburgh Steelers beat the Arizona Cardinals in the fifth overtime of the 2009 Super Bowl.

After being appraised of the correct-a-mundo terminology of the fly tying recipes appearing heretofore you will and must now go forth and tie one on for the Gipper.

Wait a minute. Is that tie one on for the gipper or the nipper?

No. Nippers are just little kids that haven’t grown up into big fly tiers yet.

Or maybe - it might be those things on my lanyard that’s used for a quick and painless Catch & Release.

I dunno.

Anyway “Keepth your fly tying minimalist and your tale telling maximus.”

Dick Taylor - Grn Mt Man